If at First...

Two weeks ago, I entered a whole new stage of life. Retirement was a choice I made when I saw that other "constants" in my world were shifting. I looked at where I was, and where I thought that path was headed, and decided that it was time to take a fresh look at things. After 41 years as a United Methodist clergyman, it seemed that I needed just to be me for a while.

From the time I made the decision to retire until June 30, my focus was fixed on the process of letting go and getting ready to move on. Some things got shelved for a while as I attended to matters that were, at least on the surface, more pressing. That included this space. Today, I decided I needed to take another look at blogging and see if it fit into the direction I am now going.

For the time being I will try to keep this goiong (or try to revive it). Whether there is anyone who will find it or stumble upon it, I do not know. If there are those who do, I hope my random musings may be of some use to you in your own rambling through life.

On the Way Again

Last Sunday, our son proposed to his girlfriend, and she accepted. It was a day of joy that was shared with their families and friends who joined them for a celebration party in our church's fellowship hall. They have already set a fall date for their wedding, and we are excited about this opportunity for our family to join together in a day of loving joy.

Also last Sunday, we announced duirng our worship service who will be appointed to serve as the church's pastor following my retirement at the end of June. It had been less than a month since I told the congregation my plans, and I'm not sure I was completely ready for the announcement of a replacement. On the other hand, it is good to be able to assure the church family that they will have good spiritual leadership going forward. Between now and July 1st, we will spend some time giving thanks for the ministry we have shared over the past nine years as well as supporting each other in the transition to the next stage of our journeys in life.

In some ways, every day is a transition from what has been to what now is and a step toward what will be. We are always on the move in life, even when we are unaware that our journey is moving on. I've always been partial to our Methodist notion that we are going on to perfection; because it reminds me that, while I have not yet arrived, I am on the way. I remember Cher accepting the Academy Award for her performance in Moonstruck talking about her mother wanting her to be somebody. She said, "I don't think this means that I am somebody, but I guess I'm on my way."

It helps me to know that I am guided on my way by the gracious Spirit of a patient and merciful God as well as human companions who encourage and challenge me all along that way. The Scriptures tell us that "we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is. (I John 3:2, New Revised Standard Version)"

In faith, we can look forward to the place where each transition leads us; because wherever we are, God is our constant companion.

The Snow Lay on the Ground

According to the Weather Channel, Burlington, Vermont set a record for snowfall this past weekend, measuring 32.9 inches. Outside my house, there's not quite that depth of snow, but there is a lot of the white stuff there. It started snowing New Year's Eve and continued on until last night. In all of my years, I have never seen a significant accumulation of snow from one storm that never had the feel of a blizzard. For the most part, it was a steady, gently falling snow that persisted over a few days, creating a sense of beauty and wonder all around us.

Yesterday morning, at the height of this persistent storm, we held worship at our church. I was in doubt concerning the possibilities of worshipers coming out in the storm. After all, the authorities were still encouraging people to stay off the roads. On the other hand, in my forty-one years of ministry, I have never canceled worship because of a storm. My response to people who ask has always been, "Since I can get to the church, I will be there for anyone who comes; but use your good judgment and don't take unnecessary risks to get here."

By the time we started worship, I was amazed by the number of hardy, intrepid folks who found their way to the sanctuary and gathered at the Lord's table to rejoice and give thanks. That so many of our church family made worship a priority for this stormy day was a true blessing.

On the news later that day, I saw images of many more people who found their way to ski slopes and sledding sites to enjoy the gift of the newly fallen snow. They were smiling and shouting with glee, frolicking in the miracle of nature, rejoicing in the pleasure that a major snowstorm can bring. Yet none could match the depth of joy that I sense in people of faith for whom prayerful, praise-filled worship is a natural response to what God is continually doing in our lives.

Our choir sang "The snow lay on the ground" as a substitute anthem yesterday, because we thought it a good expression of our faith in the face of this most recent storm. Its chorus says, "Venite adoremus dominum, venite adoremus dominum." O come, let us worship our God. Let us worship God indeed.

A Fresh Start and a Delayed Response

When I started this blog, I had visions of an ongoing conversation that would stimulate the development of faith and a sense of the holy in our lives. As time went on and it became clear that my original hope was probably not going to materialize in the time frame I had in mind, I became discouraged with the process and the original vision. Without intending to do so or even realizing at the time that I was doing so, I let the blog idea lie dormant. Imagine my thoughts when I realized how long it had been since I posted anything to the blog, and even more that no one had contacted me to say "why are you not posting to your blog?"

So on this first day of 2010, which is not the beginning of a new decade (contrary to popular media) but is instead the last year of the first decade of the 21st century* I find myself faced with a couple of choices. Either I end this effort and concede failure; or I decide to continue on and use it to sort out where my own faith journey is taking me. I'm still musing on that one.

This morning I discovered that someone had posted a comment to my last entry, and I had not seen it. My apologies for not responding to what I believe is a very valid question. As a child of God and a human being, I believe I have been given a potential for discernment, that I am called upon to decide what is right and true and to make distinctions between good and appropriate behavior compared to bad and inappropriate (often evil behavior). So I find myself judging others all the time. The scriptures call us to avoid judging others. So I am faced with a conundrum. As a part of my nature, I necessarily make judgments. As a tenet of my faith, I am constrained from judging.

For me, the resolution has to do with the distinction between judgment as discernment and judgment as condemnation. When I decide that another person's actions are wrong, I am judging their behavior. When I judge that person as wrong, I am condemning a child of God, which is not my right. That leaves me, of course, with the awesome responsibility of monitoring my own thoughts, attitudes and actions toward others; and seeking God's forgiveness for those times when I have stepped over that line.

The ultimate truth in this is that we are all responsible to our Creator for the way in which we have honored or dishonored this gift of life with which we have been blessed. I trust that God's grace is stronger than my human frailty and that, if I let the Spirit guide me, I can continue to grow as a child of God in relation to my brothers and sisters.

God bless us all in everything that lies before us in this new year.

*Okay, so I am a purist, but I still believe decades go from 1 to 10. The year 2000 was actually the end of a ten-year span, at least in our human efforts to sort and number time. 2001 began a new decade and a new century.

Bumper Sticker Faith

I recently found a website that posts humorous and thought-provoking bumper stickers under the title "Virtual Bumper Stickers." In truth, it's a collection of pithy sayings that could be printed on a bumper sticker or may have been spotted on one. Over the years, I have rarely attached my thoughts to the back of my car, only occasionally expressing my preference for a specific presidential candidate. In the most recent election, I chose to do that. Soon after, I went out to my car (which is housed in an open, rather public location) and discovered that someone had torn a portion of the sticker off. It was, I suppose, an act of dissent, done under cover of darkness and without any possibility of dialogue or discussion.

Of course, that's the point of bumper sticker politics and bumper sticker religion, isn't it? You get to express your opinion for all the world to read without having to engage in conversation about it. It's like declaring, "I have my beliefs, and I don't need you to try to convince me otherwise." James P. Carse, a professor of religion at New York University, has written a book about belief and belief systems. In The Religious Case against Belief, he argues that religion has been tainted by the close-mindedness of absolute belief, which assumes authority and draws boundaries. It's a fascinating and challenging read that calls into question our tendency to lock ourselves into ideologies and defend them by claiming that what we believe is absolute truth.

One of the virtual bumper stickers that I discovered on that website cautions "Don't believe everything you think." I suspect Dr. Carse would second that thought. While it is not a thought I have plastered on my vehicle, I did print it out and tape it to the door of my office. It reminds me that, as a human being who calls himself a child of God, I have been blessed with the gift of thought, and blessed with a curiosity about life that leads to ideas, a lot of them. It also reminds me of the danger of drawing borders around my ideas in the name of belief and daring anyone to question them.

My hope is that, when I make my thoughts and ideas public, those who read and hear them will feel invited to engage in conversation, sharing what they think with me, so that we can all move toward the horizon of truth that draws us ever onward, toward what I trust is the eternal grace of God.

What's the Use?

For the first time in a long time, we decided not to take summer vacation time this year. (Some might say that there has been little "summer" this year anyway.) Most years we have gone away, if only for a few days, to travel, to camp, to visit family, or to see new places. But this year, we were unable to come up with a plan, so we chose to stay home.

That has meant that I have been around to experience the full sense of summer as a low period in the life of a church. Though there has been an occasional burst of activity, the pace has been slower, the demands fewer. It is true that, for churches in our part of the world, that is usually the case. It just didn't strike me so when I was able to be away from it for a while. So, I chose to get involved in a theatrical production as a change of pace, to feel that I was able to do something productive, to be useful.

When I was a teenager, my father would often express his frustration with my lack of initiative or energy, with my inability to be or to do what he thought was useful. In fact, at one time "Useless" was what he called me as a nickname. That appellation stuck in my mind and often comes out when I do a self-assessment. How have I been useful? Am I ever really of use. What's the use, I would ask myself, of trying since I'm "Useless" after all.

How often we define ourselves and our worth by what we can do. When asked to list our strengths, we most often look at talents, skills, abilities, actions as the assets we offer. There is a need to be able to do or create something that is of value to others in order for us to feel of value to ourselves. That is how we believe we can earn the respect, the admiration, the appreciation, and maybe even the love of others. What can I do for you that will make you like me?

I am reminded of the story of Cain and Abel, where Abel's offering to God was well-received while Cain's was not. Cain's disappointment and frustration turned to bitterness and anger, leading to hostility and violence toward his brother. I want, every time I read that story, to hear the voice of God say to Cain, "I have not rejected you. Your worth is in your being, not in what you can or cannot do." But, of course, Cain never gave God the chance to say that, so he acted in a way that put a barrier between himself and his God.

When I realize that God's love for me does not depend on what I can do for God, then the things that I can do take on a different power. They become offerings of thankfulness and praise, rather than efforts to win approval. God's grace makes me stronger to live more fully and more productively, because I have already known the gift and blessing of God's love. It's no longer a matter of trying harder. Instead it is a matter of offering who I am and what I do as a gift of joy for the gift of life.

I'm still trying to live into that truth. By God's grace I will be made whole!

What Does the Lord Require?

A comment posted in response to my earlier entry on tithing referred to God's requirement of the tithe for the people of Israel. That was compared to the church's release from the requirement of a tithe under the assumption that Christ's salvation leads us to be free and joyful givers. I had referred earlier to the institutional requirement of tithing, so it seems appropriate to comment on what God truly requires of us. The prophet Micah asked that question in response to the propensity of the people to forget God's call and to seek salvation in ritual offering. His answer was that God requires more than the legal obligation of a tithe. What God requires of us is to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8) I believe the implication is that when we are doing those three things, tithing as an obligatory act will be unnecessary, because we are already giving our all to the service of God.

Jesus rebuked the legalists of his day when he said, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is those you ought to have practiced without neglecting the others." (Matthew 23:23) To me, the scriptures are clear. The tithe is an instrument by which we express our commitment to God's will and way. Faithful living in all matters is the truly effective witness we can offer in response to God's grace and mercy toward us.